Love in a Cup: How a Morning Coffee Can Keep the Spark Alive
My older sister and her husband have been married for 22 years, raised three kids and still have the kind of relationship I’ve always looked up to. Like any couple, they’ve had their moments, but on the whole, they’re best friends. Even now, two decades in, they’re playful, they laugh together every day, and they’re still each other’s favourite person to hang out with.
They still smack each other on the bum when they walk past and my brother-in-law is STILL enamoured by her boobs (you know how men can be, haha). They cheer each other on through every dream and goal. And they laugh - often loud, wild, contagious laughter. So, what’s their secret? How do two people keep the spark alive after over 20 years together? It turns out, it might be something as simple as coffee.
The Morning Ritual
One of their daily habits might seem small to outsiders, but to me, it’s magic. Every single morning, they have coffee in bed together.
My sister is a shift worker, so her schedule is all over the place - early mornings, late nights, sometimes all-nighters. The rule is simple: whoever gets up first makes the coffee and brings it back to bed.
If she has a 6am start, she’s up at 4.30am making the coffee. If she has the day off or is working night shift, my brother-in-law gets up a little earlier before work to make it for her. It’s even become a bit of a running household joke - him sighing dramatically about having to “be the coffee maker” on her days off.
But every day, without fail, they share that moment together. Sometimes they chat, sometimes they just sit in quiet, sipping away and enjoying each other’s company before the chaos of the day begins.
They also have another slightly odd but equally sweet daily ritual: whoever brushes their teeth first puts toothpaste on the other’s toothbrush. If they forget, the running joke is that the person who skipped it “doesn’t love them anymore.” Personally, I’d rather put my own toothpaste on my toothbrush - but again, it’s such a tiny gesture that somehow speaks volumes.
Why It Matters
I don’t even drink coffee (I know, I know - how do I stay awake?), but this ritual has always stuck with me. Because it’s not about the coffee - it’s about connection.
Maybe the secret to 22 years of marriage and still being best friends isn’t found in big romantic gestures. Maybe it’s hidden in the small, everyday acts of love that tell your person, I choose you. Every day.
The Little Things
It’s easy to believe love needs fireworks to stay alive. But sometimes, it’s as simple as sitting side by side, hands wrapped around a warm mug, starting the day together. The spark isn’t always lit by grand gestures. Sometimes, it’s brewed slowly, one cup at a time.